Christmas Day 2023

I've banned everyone from the small lounge and I'm watching that Julia Roberts,  Ethan Hawke film, Leave the World behind. Fuck the lot of them. So glad we don't do Xmas! There's a blanket over my hubby's mess downstairs. He's upstairs tidying his upstairs mess. I live in a house with 3 autistic messy people, two are teenagers too!! Drives me mad! 🤪

When I get SO mad and upset and unable to really say what I want to say , I make piles of the mess to be cleaned. She's a mean divisive lying queer. Pile. This is the life she's chosen. Pile.

Aaaarggggh. Pile. Why does she always lie to me and be a mean little bitch to me? I fucking hate her just now and don't even want her in the house. Pile. She makes out I'm the evil nasty one all the time. I want to know what she is telling her gay male boyfriend's family about me. She's apparently actually been with him since August and then concocted a whole drama of getting him a single rose to see if he is interested. Made ME fucking look for places that sell a single rose and drove her to shops to buy bunch of flowers cos they don't do singles around here. For what??? A whole play just for me??? Who does that? So manipulative. I feel used and stupid. I dont understand what I'm dealing with here anymore. I'm out. I can't bear her mean streak and I want nothing more to do with her. Pile. Even as I say that I feel awful. It's not true. I just want her to stop being so nasty and lying to me. In all honesty our family works better as a 4 when she isn't there. G-d forgive me for saying that. Pile.


We have finally sent the two letters explaining how are children are being harmed by an idewoogly without actually saying the out loud part OUR KIDS ARE NOT TRANSGENDER. 

The first letter is to Healios, an agency that CAMHS have outsourced their autism diagnosis 4yr waiting list to. We were half way through the process with our middle now 15 and were offered to go to this company. I should have known they'd be ideologically connected and captured. The first appointment was with an actual blue haired person (may have been green) . My heart sank. We persevered 😣 I tried not to let my blue haired bias out. 

We then received the clinical letter and they had referred to her all the way through the 13page diagnosis letter, with her chosen name and pronouns. I could bear to finish reading and immediately went into a tailspin. My fight and flight reaction went haywire again. Another fight, this isn't going to ever end and everyone in Scotland is against me and my family. What rights do we have to do this?  What can we say to make them stop doing this? 😭

We thought their letter was wholly inappropriate especially as it's a medical document which will be going to her GP and back to CAMHS files. So we spoke to ask them to correct this. They told us their policy is to use the pronouns the child asks because their research shows if you don't, it increases self harming. It's probably fucking research from CAMHS in first place. 😭 Pile.

We sent them a brilliantly worded letter asking for their research and showing them our research backed by help from Isla Mac, Transgendered Trend and SOSScotland

COME AT US NOW you unprofessional blue haired biased beasts. Pile. 

The other letter is a complaint letter to CAMHS for our therapists behaviour. This one is more complicated. Due to our eldest 17, wanting referred back to the woman who referred us to social services, we feel she was unprofessional and crossed many lines. We think there is a conflict of interest and she should not be treating our child.

I'm certain I won't be posting this until both letters are dealt with. The waiting is agonising. Protecting my children is non stop now with this gender ideology. It never ends. 


We're in that lull period of the transcoaster. Where I start to think that maybe I can cope and carry on. But I know those two letters we sent will cause the next transbomb, so I know I can't move forward until that happens and is dealt with. Then there will be something else since it never fucking ends. I don't know what to do with myself in these lull times. I'm in a constant state of fear. It's like I can almost taste peace and ease, and then it's ripped away from our family again.


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