Creeping doubts and Gay pride?

OK, so I'm not sure what I'm asking for or looking for but support for a start. I'm going to explain a situation and it's hard to say (in this climate) the right way so not to offend or sound ignorant or whatever so I'm just going to put it out here knowing I can get help to pick through my various thoughts.

So, x is 12 diagnosed ASD a few years back. She started secondary school (high school) last August. Prior to this, she was in a small primary school (few years elsewhere) and she never once got invited anywhere or to any bday parties or houses or anything. I tried in the beginning but eventually stopped around P5. She would make a friend and I would try and help maintain it for her but it never seemed to stick. She always used to say she had a best friend but she never saw her out of school or spent much time with her in. (this girl is very popular and kind and likes everyone) anyway, not sure how relevant that all is.

So in her final year at primary she did a lot of transition work to high school, the first time she went to the high school (before it actually started) met someone from a different school who was also doing transition classes and they sparked it off and have been really good friends ever since. Playdates have happened easily and it seems like a proper friendship. Again not sure of relevance of this either.

The other thing to mention, is she has never initiated talk about, love, sex, boys, girls, kissing, anything related to sexuality or relationships. I have talked about things with her as they have arisen and I have always said positive things about same sex relationships along the lines of its up to the person and its all part of normal ways showing love etc but its never been big conversations usually just if we saw same sex kissing on TV etc

Anyway, so she starts high school, attends the club day, where they choose lunch and after school stuff, is attracted to a rainbow flag that she sees (she told me this when I asked how she found the group) and joins the LBGQTI group and told me she is bisexual.

Now I reiterate I have absolutely no issues with this and have not many any deal about it with her about it and accepted what she says. I haven't been negative or anything and I've just been kind of watching to see where it leads. She goes to this group once a week and has been on a few trips.

Here's where I'm going to get fuzzy with my thinking... As a child with ASD, Ellie is very easily influenced by her peers and extremely influenced by social media, she repeats you tube videos and memes verbatim and treats them as gospel. I can't help wondering if the incluvisity and friendliness of a marginalised group of people has attracted her to them. She has never before showed any interest in boys or girls or anything of that ilk, never mentioned anyone being good looking or attracted to them or whatever (is that purely an age thing?I kissed some boys at 9/10 and then had a boyfriend at around her age)

I'm just not sure if this is her wanting to be part of a group and being influenced or if this is really what she believes about herself or if she's keeping her options open or what?

As I said I've been non committal in my language but not negative in anyway, I'm sort of imagining its a phase and will blow over and so I'm going along with it. I realise I have no say in her preferences obviously but I think my concerns are for her vulnerability as an ASD teenager.

Sorry if I'm sounding ignorant on the subject, it's all quite new to me.

As I say I'm not sure what I'm asking or wanting but it's good to say it out loud.


Written April 2019, about 8m after entering secondary school. I was concerned at the speed of things and for the welfare of my impressionable vulnerable 12yr old child. I was asking my private women's group for advice on how to proceed, not fully understanding or realising what was about to come 


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