I feel it in my heart I must blow your family apart

In September 2022, after extensive intimate, personal, authentic therapy sessions with a CAHMS psychologist, we ended up being referred to social services. The therapist put her hand on her heart and told us she "felt in here" when she blew our family apart even more and told us she had to contact them. 

This is part of the conversation we had with her:

Therapist: Well I hope child (uses actual name) ends up being supported

 

Husband: No they're not supportive 

Me: Why did you need to do it tell me why?

Therapist: I'm hearing that child's (uses other name) emotional state is impacted on the lack of support she is getting around ?? gender

Me: Because we won't affirm her he/him?

Therapist: Yeah

Me: That she told us over the last four years or whatever, she's been in therapy here, that she wants to be a girl, she doesn't want to be a boy, she's told everybody in here that. She's spoken to Rhona about it.

Therapist: Evi, I've had no conversation with child about her him wanting to be a boy (laugh) that's not what I'm discussing about, I'm hearing about trans identity, sister referral to Sandyford has been stopped. I don't know if that's accurate or not and I know that child is concerned that might happen with them too but I'm concerned about the situation child is living in and this is having an impact on his mental health and I'm worried that if this doesn't change..what that's going to lead to for child from a mental health point of view that's where my concern comes from

 

Me: And social Work will make that worse

I can't I ???

Husband: They'll come in and they will be appalling like before and they're officious and they're unpleasant and they make you feel like absolute dirt 

Therapist: My hope will be is that it will be a supportive intervention or conversation.

Me: I mean but what...I don't understand what will social work do that we are not getting help here from and at school? 

Therapist: From where I'm sitting Evi, I know, from having met you so many times (laugh) that you guys adore your children you dedicate everything for your children and you're doing everything that you can for them and I know that thats the motivation behind what your saying 

Me: And now you want them taken away   

Therapist: But what I'm hearing is that ???

????

Me: And I'm open and honest in here with you it's a therapy session I don't speak to my children like that I don't say any of this stuff to them 

Therapist: They know your views Evi, how could they not know your views? (Laugh) You're a strong person who expresses their views 

Me: And I'm being punished for it

Therapist: I'm very sorry but I have to make the referral 

Me: What's the grounds 

Therapist: Emotional abuse 

Both of us: Oh my G-d 

Emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse

Therapist: Yes unintentional, ??? It is

Me: Unintentional emotional abuse because we are not affirming her he/him this is the world we live in now 

Therapist: I'm sorry Evi ???

Me: You're not sorry

Therapist: I am 

Husband: We shouldn't have come to camhs you cannot trust anybody 

Therapist: I really want to move this forward but I'm seeing it have a negative impact on child's mental health 

Me: Not as negative as social work will have 

Husband: Emotional abuse ???

Therapist: I really hope that it doesn't work out as being a negative impact 

Me: Ha you're taking a risk though. You're really taking a risk with our family 

Husband: I think if that's your conclusion I really doubt your credentials honestly 

Therapist: I'm sorry to hear that husband

Me: I can't believe that you think it's ok to do that 

Therapist: I can't not

Me: I don't understand, what's she been telling you? 

Therapist: I can't not

Me: You can't not 

Me: I'll tell you what I can't not 

Me: When...have you done it already 

Therapist: No I'll be doing it after I speak to you I thought it only respects that I speak you yourselves first before I did make a phonecall

Me: You should have led with that  

Therapist: Ok

Therapist: I said I'd be doing it afterwards

Me: Pardon?

Therapist: I thought I said I'd be doing it after but I'd always speak to you first I don't think that would be fair to just have them turn up at your door or on a phone call. I'd always speak to you first.

Me: You should have told us that. You should have led with it you should have told us that when we first came in and then I wouldn't have opened up to you because I felt like when I come here I could open up to you, clearly I can't. I'm so upset what you've done to us

Therapist: Just damaging???

Husband: You've damaged us even more this is going to be a nightmare 

Therapist: I'm sorry husband

Me: Are you?

Therapist: I am. I am. I really care about you guys and I'm really sorry I hope we can continue working together

Me: I really doubt that

Ha! How can we work together, how though

Therapist: My door is always open. I'll let you guys process this.

https://www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/politics/scottish-parents-live-fear-losing-28179151

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/scots-parents-tell-horror-being-29705948